making new friends

making new friends after you've been with someone for a really long time can be a hard thing to do, but it is possible. you know how when you date a person for so long your friends and his friends kinda clash so you move towards one of the groups more than the other, not because you don't like one of the groups its just one group has more things to go do. well this happened in my relationship with my ex and it seemed like if we ever broke up i would have no real friends anymore, because all my friends were now his friends. when we did break up i tried to go back to my same group of girl friends but that was hard because they all have boyfriends of their own so you just feel like the third wheel. not wanting to sit at home all day i decided I'd rather be a third wheel than a loner, so i call up some of my old girlfriends and try to get them to hang out. because they knew that i still loved them as a friend, they weren't to offended that i hadn't been hanging out with them as much as i did before because they all knew what i was talking about when it came to boyfriends. finally getting someone to invite me to go with them somewhere i jump on the opportunity and tag along with her and her boyfriend. but they had other people with them who were single and being around single people made my night even better because then i didn't feel like the third wheel. getting to know some new people and finally feel like i was being myself again after so long of being smothered by one person i opened up and had a really great time with some new people that i feel like i can hang out with and call my friends.

I'm actually having one of my new friends over today to work on his psychology fair project with me, i know its not much but at least I'm still making it without the person i have basically put my last two years of life into. now that i have learned what to do i think making friends will be a breeze and moving on will come in its own time, but i shouldn't try and force it upon myself or anyone else. so cheers to breakups and making new friends, anyone who has been in a relationship knows what I'm cheering about.

Sea of Blue and Spots of Orange

this weekend with my family i went the last game of the play off season to see if UK would be able to play in the new years eve bowl. they played Tennessee it was a close game the whole time, but losing was not in the sight of all the UK fans rooting on their team all they could see was victory. people blinded by the haze of alcohol to see that we were to chicken to run the ball in the last 30 seconds to try and get a touchdown. no we had to go for the field goal which we made but only tied us to put us into overtime. freezing up in the nose bleeds with my cousin Jessica we decide to go look for the rest of the family, having been separated by seat numbers. going down to their aisle all we see are the dads and my sister Marcie. having no phone reception we cant get hold of the moms and my oldest sister Megan. Jessica and i freezing decide overtime isn't worth it the fans behind us were going out of control. jumping and screaming, high fives, and special water to wet their throats, we decide to go looking for our moms. on the way down we ran into a sea of blue with spots of orange in the middle not knowing which direction to go in we just start to speed up the pace, and try calling our moms as we descended the stairs we found out where they were and raced down to see them hoping they could get us warm. once we saw them in bottom level it was a sprint to see who would get to their mom first.

this game experience wasn't over yet we had to wait until the game got over to head back to the car with the boys, but at least now we were a little warmer. watching the end of the game on the big screen we saw the end of the game, only to watch UK fall down and Tennessee run the ball to the in zone during the overtime. after that long time of standing in the cold the people above ready to get to their cars to warm up stamped down the stairs and beneath it sounds like the stadium is about to fall down on us as everyone swarms down the ramp.

surprisingly i only see one fight and lots of drunk people, but the experience was a great one. this only helped me to anticipate college even more, not being able to wait to see every game the way those UK college fans did, with maybe a little haze blocking my vision as well.

forgiveness :( POEM by me

The white rose symbolizes the hope for fogiveness, and the red symbolizes the hope to still love...

why do people have to make mistakes? i mean i know everyone isn't perfect, but without the big mistakes in life there would be a lot less pain. i mean think about it more parents would stay together, relationships would last longer, friendships would be forever, and no one would have to cry anymore. everyone has those moments of messing up and then having to jump back to save their butt, in order to keep the ones they love closest to them without driving them away. no one wants to drive the people they love away it just sometimes happens int he worst way, you just want their forgiveness so bad and they give it to you but you still feel like crap from making such a big mistake. so then you try and be to over barring and loss all control of sensibility that is just enough to drive them away. i wish we could just learn from mistakes and the ones who cared about us would forgive and forget, they can do the forgiving part but most never forget especially the guilty one.

" i never meant to push you away,

i just wanted you to give me another day,

a day of hope,

a day to drop,

all the bad mistakes,

and all the fakes,

i never meant to push you away,

i just wanted to be selfish and have you for one more day..."

I'm sorry for all my bad mistakes boo, please lets go on living our lives hopefully with each other, we've made it through tougher times and this is no different, lets just work things out and forget all the bad things, but never forget the lessons learned.

thanksgiving turkey

you know the memory you have from thanksgiving from when you were in elementary school making paper turkeys using your hands. you know when your teacher gives you a piece of paper and says, "trace your hand to the paper and that will start you off on your turkey." having fun moving your pencil around your hand trying to make it as close as possible to the way the teacher had done it, and looking up to see that your behind still tracing the hand to the brown construction paper. your trying to make sure you do as good as possible so you can give it to your parents to hang up for the thanksgiving dinner. hurrying to catch up with the teacher to cut the hand out of the brown paper and catch up with everyone else. then all of a sunned your teacher is hanging you a piece of white paper and she says to glue the brown hand down to the white paper so we can add the feathers and legs. getting out crayons you begin to follow the coloring patterns of your teacher to get the legs drawn with three pointy things and a line for its legs. then the teacher begins to tell you the history of thanksgiving as you work on the coloring. drawing the beak, eyes, and red gobbler we then get to the fun stuff, coloring with reds, oranges, and yellows to make pretty large feathers. getting your choice of colors and placement and still trying to do your best you finally get done with the paper turkey and being proud cant wait to show it to your parents. going home for thanksgiving break you give your parents the turkey and they love it, hanging it up for everyone to see as we have our thanksgiving feast. a big smile on your face as people comment on the cute paper turkey, something everyone has done before.

invision the sound "Rain"

We just watched this video for English about rain and it was so interesting because it showed how all these people were working together going at different paces and hardness but still keeping it consistent. they used only their bodies to make the sound of rain, but still in reality the sound of their hands making the noise sounded exactly like rain. the sound of the rain drops hitting the ground and the thunder booming, closing your eyes you can hear sounds all around you, and those sounds can make the noise of things so familiar to you. for example here in Mrs. Matthews room there is the air conditioner that makes a similar noise to a cricket, the first day i heard it i found it to be annoying, but now i can just close my eyes and it takes me back to the nights when I'm lying in my bed and all i hear is the sound of crickets chirping. taking me back to that relaxing place helps me to stay calm and get things done just like I'm at my hours in my bed doing my home work. the sound of the rain on this video was the same way, i feel as if every time i cry the sky is crying with me and the sound of the earth crying with me makes me sooth and feel as if nothing that I'm crying about can be as important as what the earth is crying about. the tears are everywhere on my face, but the rain from the clouds is all over the land, more tears falling every second making everyone worth every ounce of pain. i feel as if the earth is sad with me and feels my pain, but knowing that i know the earth has cried for more years than me and that if it has made it through all the pain that i can make it through anything that's happening to me now.