long question, short answer

WIFE As ME:

Why would you go the grocery
without telling me because if you knew me at all you would know
to always ask because i needed cereal, milk, eggs, bread, cheese, and bathroom
stuff, sheesh you idiot, just go get in your car again and get your little
butt back to the grocery?

HUSBAND As ME:

Sorry
honey bunny.

ME:

Why are the simple joys in
life like going outside and seeing a butterfly that's orange and yellow on a
sunflower so difficult to really enjoy when your so upset about other things
going on in your life, like your boyfriend breaking up with you?

ME to ME:

Simple joys are blinded by
boys

ME:

Why do i look at my phone
every five seconds to see if you've text me back when i know my phone hasn't
buzzed or rang, the paranoia of you taking longer than 5 minutes to text back
always make me get a sick feeling in my gut, and then all i get back from a 3
page text is one letter "K"?

ME to ME:

Sorry i lied but my phone
just died.