why are people so rude? :(

why are people so rude? is it because of their insecurities? is it because they are just plain mean to me because they don't like me? i just don't understand where people get the idea that it is okay to be rude and mean to me, what did i ever do to them? yesterday was just one of those days it seemed like everyone had ganged up and decided to be mean to me and only me, i know that's probably not how it really was but i had gotten some bad news that day and then i had a headache, and just felt all around hurt. i think that people are rude because they think by being brutally honest they will hurt me but the truth of the matter is i would rather find out the truth from them and just hear it straight forward. hearing the news from someone else just make me sick to my stomach knowing that i haven't been told the whole truth, it really hurts. this rudeness could be handled with in a better manner, but it seems that they think by not tell me the whole truth they were protecting me from getting upset but the truth normally comes out one day and the pain just hurts even more knowing that a person you care about can lie to your face and keep it from you for more than a minute. then i went to soccer and thought well i can take out some of my anger here, but i was dong terrible at practice and couldn't even get a good touch on the ball making my mood even worse and then going into this aggressive drill i got nailed in the face about 4 time with elbows. i seemed at the time that my teammates were doing this to me on purpose, but he truth of the matter is they were just playing aggressively and my face just so happens to be next to their elbows causing my face much pain, and my head to hurt even more. so to answer my own question i don't think people are rude on purpose, but to me yesterday that's what i thought when all these things were happening to me. some people may be rude because they are insecure or just don't like me but that hasn't really occurred in a long time, since middle school. people are who they are and the only person or thing that can make them change is themselves and this takes time, and commitment.

my favorite place to go

there's a place that everyone has that they want to go when they are upset, need to think about things, and have a good time. well i have found me one of those places that has a great view, is quiet most of the time, and is a great place to go fishing. this place is relaxing and shows great qualities that have made this the best place to go when I'm upset or scared or just plain happy. i think everyone needs one of these places to go to when they think they have no where else to go, some people can merely just escape in their mind and leave all that they have behind and escape into a world of their own. this is what i do when i escape to my favorite place. where i go to get a lot of thinking done and inspiration for my art projects comes from this special place. a lot of people know about this place and may even use it as their secret get away but nobody knows its mine which is what makes it so special to me. a get away where nobody can find me or get a hold of me a secret outdoor area i can call my own, kind of like the garden in the book the Secret Garden, ever since i read this book i dreamed of a good get away place and now that i can drive I've got a good place of my own. A Dream Come True, Not Asking A Lot Of Anything...

my favorite holiday

my favorite holiday has always been and always will be Halloween and now that its coming up and the leaves are changing its bringing around the more wonderful weather, colors, and holidays. my favorite holiday is Halloween, i mean you get free candy and you get to dress up goofy or scary and be something that your not, which i think are just the best things in the whole world. who doesn't love candy? and getting to dress up as something spooky? well i know i sure do! to add to this great holiday there is great weather and lots of beautiful colors to see as the seasons change from summer to fall. there's even more to love about this great time of year, there are scary movies on t.v., cool decorations that create a spooky feel all about town, which i love, and our annual camping trip to Lincoln State Park over fall break. allof these things coming around right about now has brought around a new me, someone who is happy for her favorite holiday to hurry up and come and all the great things that come with my favorite holiday. i know lots of people's favorite holiday is Christmas which i also like,. but Christmas has no real great feel for me its always cold and a stressful time to make sure you get everyone the gifts they want. this holiday was meant to be something that you remembered Christ and people have turned it into something over done. this is why my favorite holiday is Halloween and not Christmas, its not because I'm like the anti-Christ or anything its just all the things that come with Halloween that make it my favorite holiday.

OMG finding that one photo

okay so i come home from work and arrive to my mom with pictures all over the house. she's been here for an hour or so and all she's seemed to do is make a big mess and find nothing. she's been looking for this one picture of me on my sisters bike that she got for her birthday and i really wanted to ride it even though i was too little and i had been on this streak of wearing my new goggles that i had gotten to go swimming. my mom was standing behind me as i set off down the sidewalk cheesing really big with my goggles on and the bike about to tip over. my dad took the picture and this has turned out to be the best picture that my mom wanted to use for the senior pictures and she couldn't find it out of all my pictures it was no where to be found. when i got home to see my mom so distraut over this one picture i decided to help her find it. not having a clue where it could be either i just looked through what she had already gone through and not being able to find it either i found some other really cute pictures of me that my mom could use for the senior thing but she insists on the one with me on the bike. not being able to find it after and hour or two we give up and just hope it will turn up over time. i hate when you are looking for something and you just cant find it and then you find it when you least expect it. after all the hard work and dust covering me and my mom and the house being a wreck we decide to just pick up and hope to find it in time. lets just hope we find this picture so i can satisfy my mom.

college essays and scholarships

so I'm kind of thinking these college essays for scholarships are really going to catch up to me soon and I'm not going to get it all done and then I'm not going to have any money to pay for college. i mean i know I'm not going to be able to pay for all of my college without taking a loan but id like to get as much scholarshipmoney as possible. this is what i have been working so hard for in high school for; i make good grades, take all the challenging classes, and i am trying to raise my ACT score all for my future as a college student. now i just need to take the time and fill out as many scholarship applications as possible and get as much money as i can. this is going to be my best bet i just hope i can do it before the deadlines. i think something that would help me a lot with these applications would be to write some essays in my English class and have other English teachers revise them to make them sound as good as possible for the college council and other scholarship reviewers to read. i think this is something that the AP class is doing and would be a great activity for us to do. this will help not only me but other people in my class who are worried about college and not getting everything done in the given time.

why do people always want what they can't have?

sometimes i just wish nothing came down to the cost of things and just relied on trade and trusting among good people. here in the united states that's not how things work, everyone must go to school, and have job in order to survive in this competitive economy we have today. the new inventions and great minds of the world make it so hard not to want what you just cant have unless you have the money for these things. having a job in high school and playing sports can be stressful and very time consuming, so in order to manage my time better in high school with my challenging schedule and time consuming sport i had to quit my job during soccer season which means a cut back on buying. this just so happens to be more difficult than i thought because I'm wanting a lot lately. having lots of thoughts of the future and college i want to try to be ahead of the game by buying stuff ahead of time so i don't have to buy it all at once and have no college fund money when i actually get there. i know this sounds silly but i like to think ahead and be prepared for the distant future. the concept of having a trade system back and just plain kind people to give you what you want and need would be great but cause a fault in our society because people are now used to earning what they buy and paying overly priced prices for things that they want. if only the world would be more conducive to the type of lifestyle i want to live without working to hard for the things that you want or need. but then the probability of me taking care of these things would reduce because in the back of my mind i would know i didn't really work that hard for it and i could just get another one. so having what you always want isn't the best thing for the real world, but i can always dream.

a scarey phone call

as im walking through the store i feel my phone vibrating in my pocket not wanting to answer because i was so busy focusing on what i was buying for my art project i get this feeling in my gut saying to do it. as i pressed the button to answer the phone i hear my moms voice on the other side and as the words escape her mouth so slowly and calmly saying that Marcie had been in a car accident, my heart just drops with worry. all i could think about when she said this is how one of my friends on teh soccer team and how one of her friends mom and her had been in a car accident and her mom had died, only two days before marcies accident. then i heard the reassuring words of that she is fine, just a few scratches, maybe a concussion, a broken nose, and a pretty banged up car. there was no real treat of death so some relief lifted when i heard these words from my mom. hearing marcie in the background saying she okay only worrying about when she can eat, and go home to see belle, thats just marcie for ya. knowing tha marcie was okay just hurting her nose and ego a little bit and completly totaling the car sticking to her story that it wasnt her fault, when it really was juat made the situation harder for her to comprehend. when i arrived hom ei inspected her nose and asked her a few questions about what had happened she seemed in pain whch just made me feel uncomfortable to see her in so much pain which she's never in. sitting here watching my parents stress over the totaled car and marcies broken nose and watching marcie hold an ice pack up to her nose is just yet another typical night in the blandford househole.